How to Be Stubborn (the Smart Way)
- Emmanuel Manolakakis
- 4 hours ago
- 4 min read
There’s a quiet power in being stubborn — when it’s done right. Most people use the word like an insult, a way to describe someone who refuses to listen or change. But the truth is, stubbornness is one of the most important qualities you can develop if you want to achieve anything meaningful in life. The trick is knowing how to be stubborn intelligently, not foolishly.
This is especially true in training, personal growth, and martial arts. The way you hold your ground says a lot about what kind of person you are. Let’s explore what it really means to be stubborn — the right way.
The Two Types of Stubbornness
There are really two kinds of stubbornness: intelligent stubbornness and stupid stubbornness.
Intelligent stubbornness comes from awareness, purpose, and understanding. It’s when you’ve thought deeply about your direction, and you stay the course despite obstacles, fatigue, or outside pressure. You’re not being difficult; you’re being devoted. You’re holding firm to something you know matters — a principle, a process, or a truth you’ve verified through experience.
Stupid stubbornness, on the other hand, is ego-driven. It’s when someone digs in simply because they don’t want to admit they’re wrong. They mistake rigidity for strength, but in reality, it’s a form of weakness. It’s pride pretending to be confidence. This type of stubbornness stops growth, ruins relationships, and blocks learning.
The difference between the two isn’t in the behaviour — both types stand firm — but in the awareness behind the action.
The Anatomy of Intelligent Stubbornness
To understand how to be stubborn in an innovative way, let’s break down what intelligent stubbornness actually looks like.
It’s rooted in awareness. You’ve tested your approach, learned from mistakes, and refined your direction. You’re not blindly holding on; you’re intentionally holding steady. You know when something is worth standing up for — and when it’s time to adapt.
It’s aligned with principles, not pride. Intelligent stubbornness is about protecting what’s right, not protecting your ego. You might be flexible in method but unshakable in value. Think of it like a tree: the trunk is strong, but the branches move with the wind.
It has room for adaptation. A smartly stubborn person can pivot without betraying their core beliefs. They’re open to learning, but they don’t abandon what works just because something new looks easier or trendier.
It’s powered by patience. Intelligent stubbornness doesn’t demand instant gratification. It understands that growth, skill, and wisdom take time. It’s about endurance — the long game.
How to Avoid Stupid Stubbornness
If intelligent stubbornness is a strength, stupid stubbornness is its shadow. Here’s how it usually shows up — and how to avoid it.
You mistake resistance for strength.Just because you’re saying “no” doesn’t mean you’re being strong. True strength is knowing why you’re saying no — and being open to change when new information proves you wrong.
You stop listening.One of the biggest signs of stupid stubbornness is the refusal to listen. Feedback, instruction, or new ideas become threats instead of opportunities. The smart move? Listen fully, even if you don’t agree. The act of listening alone can teach you something about yourself.
You hold onto habits that don’t work.Whether it’s a bad training method, a toxic relationship, or an outdated belief — hanging on just because it’s familiar is the hallmark of blind stubbornness. Sometimes, letting go is the bravest kind of strength.
You confuse being right with being real.People caught in stupid stubbornness want to be right more than they want to be free. But truth doesn’t care about your pride — it only cares about your willingness to see clearly.
Stubbornness and Martial Arts
In martial arts — and especially in Systema — stubbornness is tested constantly. When you’re training, you face a constant tension between holding your form and letting go. A beginner often resists change: they want to fight a certain way, breathe a certain way, or force a result. But over time, you learn that being rigid doesn’t make you stronger — it just makes you easier to break.
Systema teaches that the body must be free, but the mind must be firm. You can stay stubborn in your principles — things like relaxation, awareness, and natural movement — while remaining flexible in execution. It’s intelligent stubbornness in motion.
If you resist every correction, every lesson, every new experience, you’re being stupid stubborn. But if you stay committed to your training even when it’s uncomfortable — when progress is invisible and your ego wants to quit — that’s intelligent stubbornness.
Practicing Smart Stubbornness in Daily Life
You can apply this mindset to any part of life, not just the mat. Here’s how:
Know your “why.”Before you dig in, make sure you understand why it matters. Are you holding your ground for a real reason or just reacting emotionally?
Stay open-minded. Intelligent stubbornness is firm but not closed. Be willing to test your beliefs. If they survive pressure, they’re worth keeping.
Be willing to evolve. Sometimes the smartest form of stubbornness is refusing to stay the same. Growth requires adaptability, not rigidity.
Respect the process. Whether you’re building a skill, healing a relationship, or pursuing a goal, patience is the real power. Intelligent stubbornness is less about fighting obstacles and more about staying the course through them.
The Final Test: Ask Yourself One Question
When you feel yourself being stubborn, pause and ask:
“Am I standing firm because it’s right — or because I just don’t want to be wrong?”
That single question can save you from years of wasted effort. It’s a simple filter that separates ego from integrity.
The Takeaway
Being stubborn isn’t a flaw. It’s a force — one that can either build or destroy depending on how you use it. Intelligent stubbornness is what keeps artists creating, fighters training, and leaders moving forward through resistance. Stupid stubbornness, on the other hand, traps you in the same loop, mistaking pride for progress.
Learn to hold your ground with awareness. Bend when wisdom tells you to bend, and stand firm when truth demands it.
That’s how you become stubborn the smart way — not just unbreakable, but unshakeable.
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